Escape of My Thoughts

Another ordinary day, another day without any excitement, another day which will be washed away in the memory. I am tiered of living an ordinary life no excitement what so ever. The only fun in my life is with Aveen. The few hours with Aveen is the only time when we do abnormal things and life is a bit out of the box for those moments.

Apart from that it's always same. I am also tired of people, not all the people but certain people who always tries to create a problem rather solving one and always tries to become a hero of some kind without any effort. Unfortunately, this effortless and worthless people somehow get success and be whatever they wanted to be. Sometimes I think I might be one who is wrong, I should not try to solve any problem that comes to me rather I should pass on the problem or at least avoid them. But alas! so far, it was not a success story for me.

I always tell my self one day, one day I will have something out of the ordinary in my life. One day I will be able to prove the people around me that I was right and did the right thing at the right time. Though, comparing the past and present I do not think, I will have any single day like that life in my entire life.

What makes people special? Do not think anyone have the answer, if you think otherwise please leave a comment and please make me realize what makes people special. So far what I have seen if you can show your money/power. But I always hope there is another thing call substance. To me, if you want to prove that you are better by showing your power or money at least show people you worth every bit of that. You are just not sowing that after just luckily have any of these (Power or Money). May be I am wrong may be, it does not matter how you got anything it matters how you show it to people. It does not matter you really want to do something do good or you just pretend that you want the best.

Complicated life. Thoughts are even more complicated and most of all Reality. And if you want to express is by words, I guess thats impossible and You really can not express it. And I guess this post of mine is exactly something like that. It's just the complicated reality ... which I could not express.

I was born in Dhaka. Though I did not spend my childhood here, but after I was 10 and start understanding things I start living and Dhaka. And after all this year like a lot of other people I can not think of living any other city in the world. It's not that, I had a lot of opportunity to live any where in the world before joining AIESEC 3 years back but I never wanted to.

If you are not a Bangladeshi, the first problem is you probably don't know where is Bangladesh and even if you know about Bangladesh you really do not think that the living condition here has any kind of slandered what so ever, courtesy to CNN and BBC. And even if you are a non residential Bangladeshi I do not think you really look forward to living in this city, as I have heard too many times from Non Residential Bangladeshis "Dirty Country". But still I love the city, I love the dust, I love the traffic jam and honking, I love being grilled every time I choose to travel by any public bus during summer and sweat like a pig . I love the experience here, foods beside streets, the old town and also the new modern experience of some part of the town.

If you are reading this blog, and never thought of coming to Dhaka I think you should at least visit few website (www.dhaka.com) and know a bit more about the city. I can promise you two things, you will have a great time and except the honking in the road you will enjoy every moment staying in this city.

Life is a bumpy road. I guess everybody knows that, but how come we never tries to help each other and make it lot easier. We all talk about happiness, being successful and so and so forth.

I recently realized if we help each other to take everything a bit slow and easy life is lot better. I can't remember somebody told me or read it somewhere "Happiness is nothing but absence of Sadness". And if we really look for happiness we can not really get it as I believe there is no such situation in our life which can be described as being Happy perfectly. So, even if we try all our life it is not really happy if we do not try to remove the sadness from our life.

In general I am a happy person with a lot of problems in my life. Though I sometimes loose the grip due to so many problems in my life, I somehow manage to be happy in the end. But as I mentioned before to be happy is easy task if you help each other to be happy. In my case without Aveen it was not possible to be happy. Now to both of us it is actually a habit to be with each other and do everything, sometime it does not go that well as we are two different person from two different world according to many of our friends we are just two opposite side of a coin. But we still mange to help each other and be happy in our life.

Too everybody, if you really want to be happy just start helping, look for someone or a group of people with whom you can live your life to fullest, that someone or the group can be you family friend anybody who is around you and I think you can live away from all the sadness of your life and be a happy person in the long run and hopefully die as a happy person.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I was reading a Blog today by Mel (Australia), which was actually a letter to AIESEC Australia from the outgoing National Committee. And after finishing it I realized I have less than a year after which I have to write a letter to the members of AIESEC Bangladesh similar to this and yet I have not done anything that I am very proud of or even which can take AIESEC Bangladesh forward. All I have been doing in fact it will not be a lie if I say we have been doing (with all due respect to my MC mate and of course this is only my opinion) is just the regular works nothing especial. But aren't we suppose to take AIESEC Bangladesh to the next level?

Hope after few days I will be able to do something which will at least bring a tiny difference in AIESEC Bangladesh, I hope everybody will help me and my team to do that.

AIESEC is wired organization it gives us amazing experience, which takes everything away from us we forget everything and work for AIESEC and within few years it's all gone and past. Not only that, I still can remember my first GBM, LTP and my first Conference seems like yesterday and know, I don't go to any LC GBM, LTP's, I take sessions in Conferences, even organize the whole conference, within this short span of time I am totally a new person. I do things differently even I look at things differently. And like all other AIESECers in the world, I am also not the person now compared to the person when I was recruited.

AIESEC gives us so much, in return we are just doing some regular work. Is it right? Arguable, I think. But still at the same time we should start giving it back, which very few of us does. So far I didn't and thus I think I was a change person true but not a person who can change the world, not a person who can change anything!

It's been a long time since I left school, my good ol' school. However, suddenly I remembered the fantastic and fascinating days from my school. Those who don't know me from back then I was a student of Dhaka Residential Model College, I was there up to my 10th grade (up to the SSC Exam) and after that I moved to Noter Dame College.

I was a resident student of my school, I still remember my first day - it was a huge room with beds, small tables and lockers for about 40 students. I knew 20 of them are my classmates and the other 20 is from a different class. that was my first day away from home. Though I was a little kid, I was very impatient for start living my all by my self but within 24 hours I realized how hard it is. Those were the times, the only part of my life where everything, simply everything was more than ok, it was actually fantastic.

I still remember some my friends from that time Emile, Manoj, Belayet, Zahid, Shiplu, Shimul, Shumit, Rony, Bahlul, Sudipon, Hridoy, Shishir, Shobuj, Tarif, Russel ... and so on. But, I don't even know where are they now, except one or two of them. Miss you guyz, a lot. Wish I could get back in those days! Wish I could enjoy every moment there! Wish I could be a kid again!

Me and Akash was sleeping and the temperature of the room is high so I tuned off the light and went to bed. Suddenly, I felt something and I found out somebody is pulling my mobile charger outside of the room. I realized that somebody is stealing my mobile.

Those who do not know I leave in the ground floor of a house in "Bhuter Goli" if you translate that it will be "Ghost Lane". I lost my mobile just a hour back feeling very low and irritated at the same time.

Ever since we moved in this house, which was some what one year ago, our family is facing problems. My grandfather died, one of my very close uncle died, this has been the thirded incident of theft in our house in fact once they broke into my room and broke all the locks I had at that moment in my room but the funny thing of that time is they did not take a single thing.

However please now if you are reading this blog send me your contact details in eshad.ekram@aiesec.net as I was collecting all the numbers for last 3 and a half years in my mobile phone and there is no back up. So please help me, send me your cell number in my mail box.

This was my 8th National Conference, but I guess one of the most important one. As I realized on the ride back to Dhaka that, this might be my last conference where a new generation of AIESECer get introduced with this big and amazing organization.

Alas! Even I do not know what was I expecting from the conference. I had fun organizing the whole event, though we still have to pay a huge amount of money to different parties.

However it was fun working with Raj, Jeet, Sithi, Trishna without this four person I can not even imagine doing anything and of course, support from Shanto and Kamran was unbelievable as well. As I wrote in their sugar cubes it was an honour for me to work with people like them. A lot of other people also helped and at the same time people like Zahir and some other LCEB's created problems that I never imagined. I can not understand if they do that kind of things in AIESEC what was the point of the organization. For these people sometime I think we are ruining peoples life instead of making one.


I don't know is it me or every year people in my position think that way "My next generation is not good enough". After seeing all these in the Conference I miss my Team and also LCEB United. Those were great times, only if I had some more months. Recently I really miss working with Nadia, Naureen, Tauseef, Joy together. Though Sabi was there as well but he never was really a team player or part of our team. Wish I could get back one year and correct all the mistakes I made, we ruined what could be the best days of our life. Does Tauseef understand he got a second chance? I don't think so.

Life was always complicated in AIESEC but it was never boring but now ... it is a new story. I guess this is why a lot of people leave AIESEC after their MC Term. Was talking with Sayeed Bhai today, he was giving me all sorts of good advices and ideas, liked those and thought after just one year I might be in his position as well all the AIESECer's I recruited will just ignore me even if I am there in front of there eyes. I hope they will not do anything like this, otherwise I will really feel sorry for my self and will be calculating how man mistakes I am making now.

This conference was fun in another was as well this was Aveen's first conference and finally she is in AIESEC. I always thought she deserve more to be in AIESEC than me for her leadership qualities as well as passion for this kind of organization. Nobody understood though hope she will really be a good AIESECer and be even a better person. Hope she does not need to see the bad side of AIESEC or anything that can demotivate her.

Hope everything will be fine, hope the new generation of AIESEC will take the organization in a place where we never could dream of going. Hope one day I can stand and proudly say once I was a member of this organization.

Another bunch of people joined AIESEC, another generation is of AIESEC is been created. It seems that day when I was filling up the form and thinking of Joining AIESEC just to see what so special about it. Though considering a lot of people like Amzad Bhai, the AIESEC eXperience I have is nothing. [Who are not member of AIESEC are probably thinking what is AIESEC eXperience, in the simplest word this is the standerd life cycle of an AIESECer] I guess to them AIESEC is more than an organization. But it amazed me sometime when I look at them it seems, they just change there Job or something like that and moved on.

Whatever they are feeling or thinking like all other thing I will also be leaving AIESEC soon and it is inevitable. And the worst of all higher positions in AIESEC means you are leaving AIESEC soon, and in that manner I am really at the end of my AIESEC career and sometime I wish, if I would spend another year as a member.

Today, AIESEC North South University has there teams day. Though there were two full recruitment was also been done by two other LC's, this recruitment has more significant value as NSU is the oldest and the most senior as well as high performing LC of AIESEC Bangladesh and at the same time currently I am the LC Coach of this LC. They had something around 200 candidates and they will be taking only 40. Though a lot of Alumni of AIESEC Bangladesh has been saying today that it is the same vibe as before [when they were recruited] But I know it is always different, it will always be better than the Last time, because thats the way it is, we somehow learns to learn form our mistakes.

A lot of thing touched me today, not any event though. The feeling would be better explained as I realized a lot of new things today. Among them the most impotent I have come a long distance in AIESEC and learned a lot of things in the course, and as well this might be the last year of my AIESEC in fact I might have only few months left in my direct AIESEC eXperience. Though I am thinking I will be running for the MCP next year if off course Daniel does not decide to re run, because I respect him for some different reasons and do not any think I can do better than him. But still even if I run, I might not win and there will be no position what so ever to stay back in AIESEC and again there might be family pressure as well.

But right now, it does not matter what will happen in the next few months and after that is not really my concern or I am not even bothered by that I just want to welcome those who will make my dream true in the future.